Buttered with Justice.

I bet they keep every single security deposit, and only one person in fifty sues.

I'm sure you remember that I've been pretending to be a lawyer lately, fighting my former Slumlord in civil court. The lawyers on the other side knew I had a case, so right before trial call they offered me my $700 deposit back. I informed them that the $700 already belonged to me and they would have to do better than that. They asked if I had a counter-offer and I told them that I wouldn't take one penny under $1,250. When they came back with $1,000, I asked if they had heard me correctly or if they wanted to go back into the courtroom.

They didn't.